Archive for October, 2011

I wanna be the one to walk in the sun – Cyndi Lauper an empowering feminist for a 10 year old

October 24, 2011

I went to see Cyndi Lauper (and Dr John) on Saturday (102211) at the Sovereign Performing Arts Center in Reading, PA.

I was in 5th grade when Cyndi Lauper hit big in my world.  It was 1984-1985, feathered hair was in and “She’s so Unusual” made a huge impact on my life.  It was one of the first Albums I owned on my own AND her album cover looked like I felt.

Around the same time (1984), I learned that in some cultures women have to walk behind men.  For some reason Cyndi Lauper’s song “Girls Just Wanna have Fun‘s” lyricI wanna be the one to walk in the sun” stuck in my head as a feminist slogan.  I remember thinking I will Always be the one to walk in the sun!

She Bop” was released on February 17, 1984 the day before my 10th birthday.  I loved the song “She Bop.”  I played it and sang it over and over.  My mother asked me if I knew that the song was about masturbation …. I did not!  In fact I had no idea what masturbation was, but from then on “She Bop” was a secret dirty pleasure.  I didn’t know why, or what it meant, but I knew it probably had to do with sex and that was bad. (I also had no idea what sex was at the time).

All of a sudden this song that was fun and happy sounding, catchy and danceable, the type of song you stand on your bed singing into your hairbrush in front of a mirror, turned into something to listen to in secret.

This was the beginning of something sexual and secret for me. I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew this was a turning point in my life.  It was a loss of innocence, a step into adulthood.  A life changing event.

In fact, this was the time when the music industry changed, “She Bop” was considered controversial because of the masturbation references. It was included on the “Filthy Fifteen” list which led to the creation of the Parental Advisory sticker.

Saturday was the first time I got to see Cyndi Lauper live.  At 58 years old (06.22.53) she was still full of energy.  She is still empowering.  She still inspires me.  Rock on Cyndi!

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Pain as a badge of honor … Life lesson learned today

October 7, 2011

Since January, I’ve had a lot of back pain.  I slipped a disc and I am still not totally feeling better.  This pain has become a part of my daily life and has really hindered my lifestyle.

My Mother and Grandmother both have back pain.  Interestingly, both were recently told by two different doctors that they each have one leg that is longer (or shorter) than the other.  The damage can’t be reversed, but by simply adding a lift to one shoe, the pain will be lessened and the damage won’t increase.  My mother, excited by the news and ready for some relief, added the lift.  My grandmother thought it was too much trouble.

I had a doctor appointment today.  I relayed the above story to my Doctor and asked her if she could tell if my legs are the same length.  She had me walk, sit, lay down and generally compared my legs.  I told her I couldn’t believe my grandmother, suffering all this time when there is an easy way to feel better.

Test to see if your legs are uneven Here.

It turns out, my legs are about even.  That is not my issue.

She then said I should have a foot scan to determine if I need orthotics.  She said, if i needed them and got them they would really help.  I told her that I had the scan (as did my husband) in the beginning of the summer.

Bob’s scan was (mostly) fine.  No special orthopedics recommended at this time, but my scan showed a big discrepancy in how I stand on my feet.  My stance makes my hips lopsided and with every step I ma getting more and more out of alignment.    This has a huge impact on my hips and back causing pain

The foot scan doctor went over all the options for custom orthotics.

I didn’t want the cheapest junky pair, and I don’t do leather, so that left me with one option.  They cost about $300 and are totally customize to help with my specific stance.  I didn’t order them at the time.

My Doctor looked at my like I was crazy!  She said, ‘um, what did you just tell me about your grandmother?  You were upset that there is something that can help and it’s as easy as sticking something in her shoe and instead of doing that she walks around in constant pain???  WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING????’

She was right.  I am the same.  I used the cost as my excuse to not order the inserts…

$300 seems like so much money.  Since my back issue started, I get regular adjustments from the chiropractor and I have regular physical therapy  appointments to keep the pain bearable.  Insurance hasn’t covered these visits since about Feburuary. the appointments cost $70 bucks, and I have been paying this out of pocket regularly for 8 months to make the pain tolerable.  The inserts could potentially resolve the issue.

UGH.  Do I want the pain?  Do I think it makes me better than people that seem to walk around pain free?

Lesson (if not learned) at least accepted in this instance-I ordered the orthopedics.

I hope they help the pain and I hope I can what?????

Learn to accept help? Realize I don’t need to be in pain? That carrying around an unnecessary burdon makes me: stupid. Not strong. Not better.

  • What are you carrying around that you can set down?
  • What do you have that someone else can help with?

It is ok to be happy.  It is ok to ask for and take help.

If you can relieve your pain be it mental or physical, let it go.

Let Go.
Let Go.
Let Go.

I am crying as I write this.  Realization can be painful.  It is hard for me to admit that i am doing the same things as my grandmother.

Try this simple little meditation:

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‘Let Go’ Meditation

October 7, 2011

Come to a comfortable seated position.  Settle in, close your eyes, and begin to take a few slow full deep breaths.

Concentrate on something you want to release from  your life:

Pain, Anger, Jealousy, Irritation…..

Inhale and say to yourself  “Let”

Exhale and repeat “Go”

Inhale “Let,”  Exhale “Go”

Continue for a 3-5 minutes.

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